The Dad Difference is a monthly column I write for a small, local newspaper: "The Liberty News."
Every Kid is a “10” in Something!
You might not know the name Michael Weatherly, but if you watch the TV show, NCIS, you know his character: Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Before he became a popular actor, Weatherly made a difficult decision. He knew that leaving college to pursue acting would disappoint his dad. What he didn’t know was that his millionaire father, who made his money importing Swiss Army Knives, would disown him for not following in his footsteps.
Many parents have dreams for their child that their child doesn’t share. I bet you know someone who is a disappointment to his or her parents simply because they decided their own path rather than follow their parents’ plan for their life.
Parents can decide to be architects or farmers when it comes to raising their children. An architect parent has a blueprint in hand and molds the child to a predetermined course. The farmer parent tills, waters and fertilizes the soil of their child’s life. They wait and see what grows and then they cultivate it to the fullest extent. Personally, I think farming is the way to go.
There is an often quoted, and often misapplied, verse in the Bible that speaks to a parent’s role in molding a child’s future. Perhaps you’re familiar with this verse from Proverbs:
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
The verse seems straightforward enough, but it contains a question that needs resolved: who determines “the way he should go?” In looking at the Hebrew word translated “the way” we find an interesting clue. The Hebrew word, derek, which is translated “journey” or “the way” comes from a root word, derak, which means “to bend” or “to tread.” This is the word used for the process of bending a tree branch for the purpose of making a bow.
In ancient archery, long bows were not mass-produced. An archer would cut down a small tree and use the slender trunk for a bow. An ancient archer would not use a new bow until he learned its peculiar characteristics since no two bows would perform alike. If you were going to hit your target with a tree-trunk-bow, you had to use it on the bow’s terms—not yours.
In the same way each child is a unique, one-of-a-kind creation. One of the joys of parenting is discovering the particular gifts, passions and abilities of our children. We help our children understand where they are “10’s” and then through our encouragement and resources help them develop in these areas.
You might want your son to be a “10” in basketball, but find that he would rather play the drums. If so, say “good bye” to the basketball scholarship and invest in a set of drums (and a good set of ear plugs).
Your kid is a “10” in something. Help them find it, dad.
